Who knew we would be out of a job? Who knew churches would be closed?
Who knew we would be home 24/7?
Who knew time would slow down and allow us to breathe?
I had no idea I would finally be given time to do all the things I said I couldn't do because I didn't have the time. Who has time to make bread from scratch? How about a three course meal from scratch? How about de-clutter, scrub every tile, paint and plant? Well now you do! I was speaking this into existence and had no idea how quickly I would be given the time I swore I didn't have and so much desired. I had no excuse and all that was left was the will to do and the use of my creativity. So that exactly, is what I did!
I used my resources (a cookbook given to me by Pamela months ago) to create awesome dishes I will most definitely repeat. I opened my bible and finally finished my 30 day bible study... in 4 months. I stepped outside my box and created paintings, drawings and a creative area my daughter and I can use in my home. I swept, scrubbed, organized and decluttered all the rooms in my home. I allowed myself to do things I didn't think of before like let my daughter detangle her own hair (not the brightest thing I've done), I did my daughters nails and didn't complain, I forgot about bed time and didn't set an alarm in the morning, and we even enjoyed the simplicity of rain showers!
Who knew I would be so patient? I always said that when God was giving out "patience" I was no where to be found because I lacked very much of it and now I feel like I actually have gained some! Being home and not feeling rushed to go anywhere has given me the freedom to allow myself and my daughter to do things that would normally make me lose my temper. You spilled the whole cup of cafe con leche I just gave you on top of the computer? No worries, I got it! (yes, this happened and yes, the computer is fine). You want to help me stir the spaghetti pot? Sure! You want to do absolutely everything that would normally frustrate me? Why not! We don't have anywhere to go, I can clean that up con tiempo! (I'm trying to find the humor in the chaos, I understand the severity of the situation we are in and I'm in no shape or form unaware of how heavy things might be for others).
Truth is, I've been unaware of how much I wanted to have control! This time at home has opened up my eyes to allow my kid to be a kid and to allow myself to make mistakes, to laugh, to enjoy her silliness and to simply be present! I've gotten so caught up on our daily routine that I had forgotten there's more to life than chores, homework, work and bedtime.
You know who knew? God knew.
Dear Future Husband, I pray you have discovered things during this time. I pray you see beyond the uncertainty of it all and ask God "what do you want me to gain from all this?" I pray you seek and find and I pray you share and laugh because God gives us opportunities to grow and this one is nothing short of it.