Awkward title right? But can it be possible? Can your ex be my friend? My true friend. Not someone who is just trying to get in our relationship and therefore she is pretending to like me so that maybe she can get information about us through me. Such a complicated idea yet, its very simple if feelings are out of the equation. Lets entertain this idea:
She is a great person therefore, I like her:
What if she's amazing now? I mean, you might not have gotten along but what if she's a really nice person and has learned from her mistakes in the relationship you two had?
We are literally the same person:
It can happen! Think about it, we all have a "type" and at some point in your life you dated the same girl, twice... but the only thing they don't have in common is their names. Can these two girls be genuine friends?
She works with me, therefore, we have to get along:
This can happen too. If we were friends before, we might still be friends after.
What if MY EX becomes your friend?
Okay, okay, lets stop entertaining the idea and lets get down to business. This is how I feel about the whole situation. It depends on three things, 1. The relationship was so long ago that no one remembers and it wasn't a serious relationship to begin with or 2. She's actually really cool and isn't trying to be nosy. 3. You two have a child and therefore she will be in our lives forever.
If your ex is still part of your life for one reason or another, I will have to accept that, but you will also have to draw boundaries so no miscommunications or red flags rise. You are basically setting yourself up for some heavy discussions down the line, but if this is someone you just can't get rid of (she works with you, she is your sisters husbands cousin, she's your neighbor, etc) then you need to make things very clear to me from the beginning and hope for the best. Listen, Im not the easiest person to give this information to, I don't think most women would take the whole-we-need-to-talk-about-my-ex-being-in-my-life-conversation very lightly. But, it can work if you honestly have good intentions and there is really nothing going on.
Dear Future Husband, lets get our cards on the table before we sign up for this. Give me the chance to choose if I want to be a part of this or if I don't, but don't make the decision for me by keeping your ex a secret.