"No puedo, tengo la casa sucia" (I can't, the house is dirty)
"Hay no, mira esta cabeza como la tengo" (Oh no, my hair is a mess)
"Doy asco!" (Im disgusting!)
Growing up, these were the excuses my mom gave whenever she was asked to go somewhere. She always had an issue with how she physically looked or how clean the house was. Her immediate reaction to going anywhere was "what would people think of me if I left the house looking this way?" Instead of taking care of the "issue" and go out, she always stayed home and missed out on a lot of experiences. I am 27 years old and still my mom uses these excuses with me. Truth is, she has a distorted perception of herself. If her hair was a mess, what she really meant was that she hadn't dyed it in a while and her gray hairs are showing. If the house was "dirty" she meant that the dishes just needed to be done. Everything was always blown out of proportion and I always thought "what is so important about having the house clean before going out?" Now that I have my own place I am able to understand where she is coming from and here are my two cents on the subject.
Who gives a f*ck?! I mean, I'm sorry for the vulgar expression but honestly, if you are going out and no one is coming inside your home, who cares if the house isn't perfect? I get that it is important to my mom and in some ways it is a peaceful feeling not having to come home to a "dirty" place, but I don't see the reasoning in preventing yourself until the house is clean, or your hair is colored, or your nails are painted. She has missed out on so many things that for me are important and all because she has this mentality. Because she is my mom, I don't bother her too much with it. I just tell her "hay mija vamo!" but she insists on staying in. I have learned to understand that just because I think she looks great, doesn't mean she sees what I see.
I have been able to see both sides of the coin with this subject and sometimes I catch myself making the same excuses. But I have come to this conclusion:
Keeping a clean home isn't going to guarantee that I will make memories with people I care for. It is definitely more important to me to make memories and enjoy the time I have than to clean my house frantically because of what people may think. With that said, I go out and leave dishes in the sink, I leave shoes in the hallway instead of neatly put away in the closet, I leave my bed undone in the morning and I definitely leave my daughters' toys all over the place. I know what you're thinking, and no, my house isn't a mess... most days. I just don't get caught up in the tidiness and forget what's important. I want my daughter to grow up understanding that making memories and enjoying every stage of life is what is important. Don't get me wrong, I clean my house, but it isn't at the top of my priority list and it will never be the reason why I turn down a walk in the park or a day at the beach.
Dear Future Husband, life is so much more than a clean floor and clean dishes; that's why disposable plates and cups were made. If you are anything like my mom, then I suggest you gain patience.